Alive

I have actually thought of deleting this blog, until someone anonymous commented on one of the posts from way back. So it's like telling me that this blog still exist and must be given attention soon.

Like any individual who rode the wave of social networking sites, I left this blog untouched for a loooong time. I just realized that I never really imparted anything meaningful lately except for a few witty shout outs and pleasant-enough-photos-worthy-of-a-profile-pic. So I come back to where I can really express the real me. I blog.

I cannot begin to describe this year. It was (is, since it still is 2009). . . different in more ways than one. I did things even I wouldn't believe I'd do. Good and bad, that is. It was one hell of a ride. And the stories will be told in the next posts I guess since I do not know where to start telling them now.

But the point is, here I am, and I'm still alive.

An attempt to get organized

Question: Just how do you organize your ipod music?

I have about 2000++ songs and they're just there, as is how I downloaded/ripped/copied it. I did make the effort to check the titles and artists though. But still, it's a mess.

As I am on a voluntary Facebook rehab (for reasons I prefer not to disclose), I decided to organize the ipod instead. In vain. A total failure. I created playlists according to. . . oh I don't know. I just feel like making this list.

perk me up - my morning songs. something to inspire me. top choice, Right said fred. ahahahhahaha!

mellow yellow - white noise actually. something i could listen to without being bothered. (Tamia, Blaque, Jennifer Love Hewitt, some Sting, Braxtons hehe)

traffic music - Maroon 5, Alanis, Macy Gray, Mike Francis, John legend. I dont know if there's anything common with these artists, but for some reasons traffic isn't as bad when they sing next to my eardrums.

old school - Dave Matthews, U2, Gin Blosssoms, Green day, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Live, STP. yes. when I was still in school. thus, the name. haha

timeless classics - yung mga corny but you just can't help but. Peabo Bryson, Patti Austin, England Dan and John Ford Coley, EWF, Barry M, Al Jarreu, Sergio Mendes and the rest of the gang. Ah Bee Gees siempre.

Run!!! - yes, with exclamation point talaga. Nina Sky, lotsa hip hop. ngahahaha!

Light and easy - Joshua Radin, Justin Nozuka, John Mayer, Jason Mraz, James Morisson. Aba, panay J. I usually listen to this while doing crossword during breaktime. for some reasons.

I know I still have a looooong way to go before I finally finally get satisfied with how the songs are classified. IF I even have the time and energy to try again that is.

Oh, and you won't find any Madonna in any of the playlists. When I listen to Madonna, sya lang at wala nang iba. haha!

Reality check

Last night's dream must be the weirdest I've had. I don't usually remember dreams, but this one scared the sh*t out of me that I woke up wondering if it was true.

There I was taking a photo of someone I dont remember who, and then as I look at the cam's LCD, I am saw this girl instead. She has frizzy hair and kohl-lined eyes (which I would call smokey eyes, if it wasnt such a scary dream. haha). Then she looked at me and then turned and looked at me again with her eyes full of emotions I can't understand.

This happened fast. Blink-of-an-eye fast. But the image is so vivid I can still picture it out while typing this. I can see her face, but I know that I haven't met her. Ever. And I hope I won't. Ever.

And so being the occult fanatic that I am, I checked out the possible meaning of this dream under "ghost" and found this:

A ghost may represent something that is gone but not forgotten, or something that is almost forgotten but that you simply cannot release.

Oh. Okay. I think that is more scary.

An adult conversation

I've had the most adult conversation with my sister last Sunday. This, while both of us were sitting on the grassiest part of that blair-witch-project-like path to the beach of Puerto Azul. She had another of her fainting episodes and I was there trying to keep her company and making light of the situation.

Me: Sigurado ka bang di ka buntis?

Sis: Hindi nga, nagtest ako nung Friday.

Me: e bakit ka ganyan? di mo na na outgrow yang pagkamahimatayin mo *evil laugh*

Sis: gagu ka. si bob nga (bro-in-law) masakit din daw batok.

Me: anubayan, mga injured!

Sis: yabang neto. kaya ikaw mag asawa ka na nang magkaanak ka ng malakas ka pa.

That. Isn't it sweet? If that comment was thrown at me by another person, say my Mom, I either would have (a) rolled my eyes, (b) delivered my "ay nako, walang pakialaman" spiel, (c) snarled, or all of the above. But hey it was from my sis. My sis who received exact, same comments (and more) before she got hitched.

She only means well. It wasnt to mock me or to push me to be part of the cutesy-wootsey coupledom as if I'm living in hell and she's living in dreamland. No, she just wanted for me to enjoy to the fullest should that time comes. And i think I appreciate it that way. Waaaaaay better than being nagged and being the object of ovarian jokes (which are definitely not funny).

So there. At high noon, amidst the fainting bout(s) and the terrible heat, I've had the most adult conversation with my sis. And all I can reply to what she said was "ngeh".

Decorum

A friend pointed it out to me. I get into laughing fit whenever I get nervous. Really. I didn't notice it before as what usually gets me into that state are funny incidents, or could pass as one. Except for that time when my friend pointed that out and I could only feel bad I reacted that way. And I really can't do anything about it.

See, I think that that incident could have put me in a different place than where I am today. Not saying that it's bad or good (depending on whose PoV we're looking at anyway) but I believe, everything would just be. . .different. I am just sorry I could have offended feelings with this sick impulse.

So it almost happened again recently. Heaven forbid that I crack in the most unusual circumstance. No. Please.

Pondering

Now that I think about it, maybe there is something I can do aside from my day job. I want to be a professional make up artist

Well, I've been watching a lot of youtube videos the past days (check out EnKore, the vids are great), and I was just thinking that that is something I can do and maybe, just maybe, will be good at.

How much does having your make up done cost anyway? And with the wedding season coming, I can just imagine how in-demand artists can be. You get paid, you enjoy, plus you are earning karma points for making people feel good about themselves. Nice?

Plus! You get to shake the guilt for having bought all those make ups which you never get to use anyway...and a valid reason for hoarding more.

And that my friends is what I call hidden agenda.

Progression

Bad: Me belting out "I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you..." while plucking my brows in front of the mirror.

Worse: the song is from MY ipod which I connected to full blast speakers.

Worst: I downloaded the song from Limewire.

tawagin na lang natin syang guilty pleasure. haha.